Another Way To Go About The Ascension
Title:
A
Different Way To Go About The Ascension
Author: Perry
E-mail:
icemulder@hotmail.com
Characters: Ensemble
Rating: G
Spoilers: Graduation Day
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Productions
do.
Summary: What if Buffy and co. didn't destroy their entire High School? What if
the scoobies stopped the Ascension another way? One that perhaps involved a
recipe with chickpeas, minced garlic, lemon juice and basil.
Author's notes:
This is really really really really insane. It's an alternate Graduation Day
plan.
I
honestly do not know why I wrote this story, I wanted a short, silly
one, but I had no idea it would result in hummus. God I'm weird.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this fic.
The mayor squirmed a little on the
platform, and the scoobies knew their time was coming.
Xander
looked back to Oz, you was backing away from the seats for the seniors,
and towards a trapdoor in front of the parents.
Buffy
snuck out of her seat to help him.
Snyder
hissed at them to come back, but the slayer and werewolf ignored him,
going about their business.
Willow
pulled a gun out of her robes, concealing it from the rest of the
graduating class as best as she could.
Cordelia
just groaned. This was the dumbest plan she had ever heard. Oz had come
up with it, trying to prove Cordelia wrong. And, as they continued to
do research for the Ascension, Willow found some documents that stated
that what Oz had in mind might just be a good idea.
It'd
be a little messy, but no mass destruction. The mayor gasped, and put
his fist to his chest.
"It
has begun. My destiny. It's a little sooner than I expected. I had this
whole section on civic pride, but I guess we'll just skip to the big
finish."
The
change began. As the parents and other seniors began to freak, Buffy,
Cordelia, Xander, Oz and Willow were ready. "Fire!" yelled Xander,
motioning to Willow and Cordelia, who revealed both of their guns.
They
began to shoot yellow gooey stuff at the snake demon guy that had
replaced the mayor.
The
spectators looked utterly confused, but the mush did have an effect on
the mayor.
The
snake began to recoil, hurt by the homemade chickpea goo. Willow and
Cordy looked back to Oz and Buffy, who had the bazookas all ready.
But,
instead of huge missiles of fire power, the bazookas were chocked full
of hummus.
Oz
fired first, since it was originally his plan to attack the Mayor with
hummus.
The
missiles hit the Mayor with such force that even if the snake wasn't
deadly harmed by vegetables, the blow could have killed him alone.
During research however, Willow came across a few articles about the
Ascension, saying that every demon could be killed by extreme exposure
to vegetables, or a mixture of vegetables.
Hence
the hummus.
The
snake wailed with agony as the hummus collided with his head, burning
his scaly scalp.
More
and more humus was flung at the mayor, until the giant snake exploded
from the extreme exposure to hummus.
The
End.
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